Judgements, Preferences, Choices

I have always known that I am "different" at a young age of 6. I have also known since I was young that I am very sensitive. Judgement was a delicate aspect of life from my perspecitive ofthen I feared being judged and I feared to judge anyone. Whatever that emotions and thoughts I had at a younger age was probably my choice before I was born. Whether judgements, being sensitive, being different and being homosexual are all interrelated or not remains a mystery.

Is this being esoteric or bull shit?

I have always thought that Judgement was the judgement of the bad. I have always programmed that doing bad does not make you go to heaven. This teaching has always been fear based and this kind of programming did not do any good at all.

Identification of good is a judgement as well. In my opinion, the judging what is good is judging what is bad as well. For without the differences and contrasts, you can't differentiate what is black and white, day and night, dark and light and the list goes on. You cannot judge what is good when you dont know what is not bad.

I do not condone doing bad things especially criminally minded ones. The reality is life reality presents you with heaps of contrasts of the good and bad. In my opinon, both exists for a reason.

We fear judging people because truth hurts. But does the truth really set you free? I reckon judgements is only to be used in the aid of making a choice and having preferences. If kept yourself, you are in the okay side. However if you choose judgement only to hurt people, then I guess you are very much in trouble.

Sometimes, negative situations worked to my advantage. More than often it was an opportunity in disguise. More than often I stay relaxed when I encounter one and I have otugrown panic reactions when one comes.

Obama was once said..he does not gets too high when he is high and he does not go too low when he is low. I guess this is the best management of positivity and negativity in all aspects of life. That is, you take things one at a time and don't react violently or screem & jump over positive and joyful momements.

The gay culture is an odd example of judgements. Gay men hated so much to be judged and discriminated to an extent they go and fight their rights. However, within their circles there are sub-judgements. Examples of which I hear: cheap walking gay chopsticks (asians), black gay men, troubled closeted men. Labels, labels, labels wether good or bad is a judgement.

I am guilty of passing on judgements myself but fear it. But over the years, I have used judgements just to make my own choice or preferences.

Change, 4 Seasons in One Day

I woke up this morning with a sense of change ahead of the day. It's the 5th of November 2008 in Melbourne and likely afternoon, 4th of November 2008 in the East Coast of America - Election Day. The temperature was cold this morning and as they went on the mercury went up. I thought the 4 seasons in one day that everyone has been telling me was a joke. Well it isn't.

The change in temperature meant also there is this breeze of change going on. I received a text message mid day from a friend telling me that Obama was winning. At 4:00 in the afternoon, another message, my friend telling me that he is very teary watching Obama giving his acceptance speech. Change has come to America and change will likely to happen the rest of the world.

He highlighted gays and asians in speech saying that him being elected is:

"... the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican,
black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not
disabled. Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just
a collection of individuals or a collection of red states and blue states."

I reckon Obama will be a symbol that telling everybody that being different in colour, race or creed does not matter. Whilst it has mentioned several times by many that USA has still racial divisions and scars of the past especially amongst African Americans needs to be healed, I don't see that much when I am in the United States because it seemed to me, everyone is relaxed there about different colours and race.

A number of Australians pride themselves of cultural diversity but I reckon the country is still a young country to be like USA where black or white is not really a big problem. (This is still subject to debate of course). I could give Australia a go, in fairness. But there are still some quarters in society within Australia of racial friction. I hope this will change and I hope Obama's win is a welcome wave.

Now, the word gay was mentioned in Obama's speech. I heard that the Democrats will introduce equal rights to gays and lesbians. I don't know how acurate but it feels like it. What worries me really is within the gay and lesbain community, there is also discrimination amongst themselves. Another change to tackle? I guess, I won't make this too significant for me. No President or Pope can change the whole world perfectly. Life is about contrasting colours, ideas, thoughts. It is like the weather, the contrasting temperatures and characteristics in each season(i.e. Winter, Spring, Summer & Fall) tells us a hidden truth (rather than a mystery). There is a reason for all these to exist.

The reasons are showing up now. Change.